It’s hectic. It’s a force of nature. It’s Black Friday.

This strange whirlwind of deals and unspeakable excitement is now upon us. It’s a unique display of retail battles that can make even the most seasoned shopper want to wear a suit of armor. The good thing about Protect America’s Black Friday Event: you don’t even have to set foot outside to get amazing deals on interactive home security systems technology.

No lines, no pepper spray, no tents, no worries. Plus, if you do end up loading discounted merchandise into your cart somewhere at 3 am, you know your home will be in good shape upon your return. After all – your house shouldn’t be a Black Friday extravaganza for burglars.

Here are some notable Black Friday stories sure to make you glad that special offers on powerful home security alarms are only a click away, as opposed to a stampede away.

The Infamous $2 Waffle Maker Riot of 2011

Waffle makers are exciting, let’s face it. These Black Friday shoppers erupted into chaos at the prospect of making waffles – delicious, delicious waffles… for less than a cup of coffee.

The Black Friday Shopping Cart Heist 

Imagine what 500 shopping carts would go for on the black market. Our theory: they wheeled them all away in one giant shopping cart.

The Petition

He’s had enough. A retail employee files a petition to stop early retail openings on Black Friday.

The Notorious Black Friday… Misunderstanding?

New York shoppers were less than pleased to learn that a popular retail store was not participating in a national Black Friday sale, and would open their doors at 10 am instead of Midnight. The humanity!

As you brave the sale racks this Black Friday, remember that some deals are more convenient than others. Modern burglar alarms from Protect America are highly reviewed, plus they’re the gift that keeps on giving.

You won’t even need your boxing gloves to get one.