At Protect America, we don’t take crime lightly. This is why we are on call 24/7 to assist with your security needs and monitor your home. However, we can still get a laugh from a burglary gone wrong—as long as the joke is on the burglar. Here are some of our favorite July burglary bloopers.

1. July 18, 2013 – Chesapeake, VA

A man breaks in to a couple’s home wearing only a small towel. First, he says he’s in trouble and asks if he can use the phone. He dials 911, then notices a knife on the table, which he threatens the couple with. (

2. July 16, 2013 – Marshfield, WI

A man attempts to rob Wolf’s Grocery Store by flashing a knife and demanding the cash drawer be opened, but the 96-year old owner stands her ground and the robber is quickly scared off by a security camera. (

3. July 11 – Bradenton, FL

A man attempting to rob the pharmacy of a strip mall ended up in a restaurant instead, when he fell through the wrong air shaft. A police dog found him hiding in the freezer of the restaurant and he refused to exit the freezer and surrender to police.

4. July 14 – New Port Richey, FL

A man wanted for robbery was tracked down by police after posting angry comments on the station’s Facebook page under his own most wanted photo. (

5. July 11 – Mason, MI

A man accused of fraud attempted to pay for his $16 court ordered fingerprints with a credit card that had been reported stolen.

6. July 10 – Ocala, FL

Talk about an advance on pay—an Ocala man applying for a job stole money from the cash register when his potential employer’s back was turned. (

7. July 9 – Lady Lake, FL

A homeowner walked in to their home to find a burglar sleeping on their couch with stolen jewelry. The sleeping burglar’s partner-in-crime left his friend as he made off with a TV. (

8. July 8 – Hyannis, MA

A man is arrested after stealing a bottle of ketchup and spraying its contents over local storefronts. (

9. July 7 – Long Island, NY

In a not so classic case of airline stowaways, a flight attendant is accused of hiding rats in her pantyhose to sneak on to flights. The stewardess responds to claims, calling them “absurd.” (

10. July 5 – Detroit, MI

After hearing loud noises next door and a woman shouting “stop! No!”, a neighbor called the police siting a domestic violence dispute. Though it wasn’t violence, upon responding to the call, police found the woman to be suffering from a different form of abuse—her boyfriend passing gas. (