Had enough of weird burglary stories? We didn’t think so.

Monitoring trends in home security and burglaries has its benefits. We’ve come across some very interesting burglary tales recently, and we wouldn’t be doing our job if we didn’t share. Will they make you chuckle? Maybe. Will you shake your head in disbelief? Probably. Will they make you glad you have a security system? Absolutely.

Here’s our list of totally bizarre burglaries, brought to you by criminals everywhere.


The Sandwich Supervillain

Not only is Brook Evan Grzelak of Green Bay being accused of breaking into two Subway restaurants and safe breaking, he has elected to defend himself in court. Can you even plead temporary insanity from Italian bread-induced fumes? Apparently, the trial began with Grzelak expressing concern that the judge was unfamiliar with evidence presented at  previous proceedings. We’re hoping that the “evidence” is more than a six-inch on wheat.

 The “Lost My Keys” Burglar

Oops. This thief’s name speaks for itself. Timothy Ellis in Sandy, Utah was charged with kidnapping and robbery after holding a man at gunpoint for over an hour in the victim’s home. It took an hour because Ellis couldn’t find his keys and made the victim help search for them. The only thing worse than being held at gunpoint is having to help a space-cadet find his misplaced keys. Hopefully Ellis is taking ginkoba in jail to improve his memory.

 The Penguin Kidnappers

Drunken mischief-makers scaled the high fences at Sea World on the Gold Coast in Australia to swim with the dolphins and steal a … penguin? The three woke up in their apartment surprised to find the penguin walking around – most likely looking totally lost. The three then ditched the bird in a nearby lagoon where it was soon found and returned to Seaworld. The three bird-burglars were eventually caught and hit with steep fines from the government. The good news – they captured most of it on camera.

The Casanova Burglar

Imagine being robbed by three men in your home only to have one of them return and ask you on a date. That’s what happened to Diana Martinez of Columbus, Ohio. She quickly recognized the thief-turned-sweet talker and had a relative call the police. The man was arrested in front of the home and held on $100,000 bond. Burglars need love, too!

The Name Tag Thief

It’s hard to get away with anything if your last name and date of birth are tattooed prominently across your neck. 21 year old Aaron Evans found out the hard way when he was recorded stealing the navigation system from a camera-rigged car. The footage caught Evans’ tattoo perfectly (Evans 19.9.87) and helped police solve perhaps one of the easiest crimes in history. Evans was sent to jail for a 7 month period.


While we are certain many burglars are a little more savvy than these folks, it gives us comfort to know that some of them are their own undoing. Besides, we can all use a chuckle every now and then. For those seasoned criminals, we definitely suggest having a home security system to make them think twice about targeting your home. Do you have a crazy burglary story? Thoughts on any of these hapless criminals? Share with us on Facebook and Twitter!